Cold Enough for You?
Jan. 16th, 2009 09:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terribleturnipThe next person who says “Cold enough for you?” is going to get punched right in the face. Not because it’s too cold, or not cold enough, or even just freaking right, but because the week isn’t quite over yet and my “patience with idiots” pouch is empty. Look, Mr. Master of the Obvious, rummage around in your conversational treasure chest for something a little more clever, would ya? Or, leave the treasure chest AND your mouth shut.
When it's this cold, you preserve more body heat if you keep your mouth shut. That’s why my people (taciturn New Englanders) got their rep for being surly or unfriendly. We’re not. It’s just that you don’t waste body heat by flapping your gums or waving your whole damn arm to say hello like some kind of Potato Princess on a parade float. Then, when it warms up, we stay that way, because we like our blessed peace and quiet. The nod of recognition, the two fingers lifted off the steering wheel wave, the simple stating of someone’s name as a greeting:
“Jim.”
“Hank.”
It’s all you need, really. I know you. I know your name. I like you enough to say your name out loud. I will accompany that with a short nod of solidarity. Good enough. The simple peace and quiet is really comforting. Way more comforting than “Y’all come back, now, y’hear?” and a big ol’ arm wave. ‘Cause you don’t always mean it, you southerners. You’re just being polite. Which is fine. But not trustworthy. And a real waste when it's chilly. But ya do make fine iced tea. We’ll give you that.
I did delight in the nose crackle this morning. Takes me back. When you step outside, heading down the barn to chip out a hole in the water trough and throw food at various beasts and your first inhale, all your nose hairs freeze up and crackle. I love that.
But, for the record: I’ve had my little trip down memory lane, my heating bill is killing me, it can warm right the hell back up now.
When it's this cold, you preserve more body heat if you keep your mouth shut. That’s why my people (taciturn New Englanders) got their rep for being surly or unfriendly. We’re not. It’s just that you don’t waste body heat by flapping your gums or waving your whole damn arm to say hello like some kind of Potato Princess on a parade float. Then, when it warms up, we stay that way, because we like our blessed peace and quiet. The nod of recognition, the two fingers lifted off the steering wheel wave, the simple stating of someone’s name as a greeting:
“Jim.”
“Hank.”
It’s all you need, really. I know you. I know your name. I like you enough to say your name out loud. I will accompany that with a short nod of solidarity. Good enough. The simple peace and quiet is really comforting. Way more comforting than “Y’all come back, now, y’hear?” and a big ol’ arm wave. ‘Cause you don’t always mean it, you southerners. You’re just being polite. Which is fine. But not trustworthy. And a real waste when it's chilly. But ya do make fine iced tea. We’ll give you that.
I did delight in the nose crackle this morning. Takes me back. When you step outside, heading down the barn to chip out a hole in the water trough and throw food at various beasts and your first inhale, all your nose hairs freeze up and crackle. I love that.
But, for the record: I’ve had my little trip down memory lane, my heating bill is killing me, it can warm right the hell back up now.
